Gazizza

IMAO: Republicans Transform

A reader of the Corner sent in an idea that I think was a pretty good suggestion: The Republicans stop their feuding and their fighting and combine announcing Fred Thompson as president, Mitt Romney as Vice President, McCain as Secretary of Defense, and Giuliani as Secretary of Homeland Security. This is a cool idea. Now, anyone who is a not a moron likes everything about Fred Thompson, so he’d be a great president. Mitt Romney is a conservative in training, so he’d be good for vice president. The only thing McCain is right on is the war, so why not put him a position where that’s the only view that matters. And Giuliani would be a great Secretary of Homeland Security if he would just prove his bona fides on illegal immigration by beating a Mexican drug smuggler to death with a Maglite — something I’m sure he’d be more than willing to do.

In addition, it could be announced that Mike Huckabee will be the White House Press Secretary where he can use his talking skills for good instead of evil. And Ron Paul could be made a security guard at the National Archives so he can make sure no one messes with the Constitution.

If Republicans announced a ticket with all the frontrunners on it, wouldn’t they be unstoppable? They’d be taking the best of each Republican and putting it together into one super Republican — like Voltron. While each of the robot tigers are kinda cool on their own, they’re supercool and unstoppable when put together as the giant robot warrior Voltron (Fred Thompson: “And I’ll form the head!”). The Democrats would run fleeing from such a thing and the Republicans would walk away with the election.