Cafeteria Is Closed: The female ordination theme song

The Cafeteria Is Closed: The female ordination theme song

Come sit right back
and you’ll hear a tale,
a tale of some heretics
That started from a Pittsburgh port,
aboard a tiny ship.

The mate was a fan of labyrinths
The skipper was a nun
10 other women were on board
for sacramental fun.
(for sacramental fun)

The liturgy was getting rough,
The litany was long,
Invoking Lilith, Gaia too,
Seemed just a bit too wrong
(though not to Bishop Spong)

The ship set ground in a strange new world,
uncharted heresy
With lesbians And feminists
An acting deacon’s wife
Peace activists
And the rest
Here on Womanchurch Isle

So this is the tale of the priestesses
There here for a long, long time.
They’re sure to make a mess of things
And bitch and moan and whine.

No pope! No men! No canon law
Not a dime to Peter’s Pence!
Like Lollard, Hussites, Bogomils,
They’ve left out common sense.

So join us here each year my friend,
There’s sure to be more fun,
With a hearty shout, “non serviam!
My will, not Thine be done.”

Too funny.

open book: A case against Q

The always wonderful Amy Welbornwrite about Q, the likely mythic main source of Matthew and Luke.

For me the argument against Q was always if Q was so important that two of the Gospels based themselves on it, why don’t we have it any more? Why wasn’t it ever mentioned by any of the early Christian writers? The simplest answer, an likely the correct one, is that it never existed.

Jimmy Mel Gibson

Jimmy Akin has a great post up saying many things I was intending to write, and many things that never occurred ot me. Most of the comments on this post are insightful as well.

I have a good friend who suffers from bipolarism (?) and dated someone else who did. My friend tells me there’s times she completely shuts down and times when she’s out of control due to her condition. (I’ve never had the experience of seeing either.) Given some of the further information Jimmy posts about bipolarism and its effects and what we know about the environment Mel was raised in, I think it makes things a little more “forgivable.” (Still wrong.)

I think we have to take Gibson’s apologies as sincere. He’s not only apologized twice, but offered to work with people to overcome his failings, which is a form of penance in itself. This does not obligate the rest of us to return our attitudes about him to status quo ante, but the jokes should cease if we’re serious about acceptance and tolerance.

The Allegorical Sense of Scripture

Modern and postmodern folk, having talked themselves out of trusting Scripture so that they can more credulously swallow whatever some dimestore novelist tells them, spend most of their energy (should they ever get around to reading the Bible) fretting over the most elementary aspects about the text. So, if we propose to the modern mind that Mark wrote Mark or Isaiah had something to do with the authorship of Isaiah, this is often greeted with hoots of derision as simplistic fundamentalism and the question “How do you know?” asked by people who, like jesting Pilate, do not stay for an answer. But if the National Geographic dusts off a piece of parchment styled by some anonymous fourth-century scribe as the Gospel of Judas, it is taken as self-evident that this piece of paper was written by Judas and that it, as the saying goes, “shakes Christianity to its very foundations.”

Read the article


“Were the pictures which have been drawn by the political jealousy of some among us faithful likenesses of the human character, the inference would be, that there is not sufficient virtue among men for self-government; and that nothing less than the chains of despotism can restrain them from destroying and devouring one another.” —Alexander Hamilton and James Madison

“Because just as good morals, if they are to be maintained, have need of the laws, so the laws, if they are to be observed, have need of good morals.” —Niccolo Machiavelli

“No one ever heard of the truth being enforced by law. When the secular is called in to sustain an idea, whether new or old, it is always a bad idea, and not infrequently it is downright idiotic.” —H. L. Mencken

“If you have 10,000 regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.” —Sir Winston Churchill

“State control is fundamentally bad because it denies people the power to choose and the opportunity to bear responsibility for their own actions. Conversely, privatization shrinks the power of the state and free enterprise enlarges the power of the people.” —Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

“You can say ‘tough’ all you want and still be a wimp. Or a politician.” —Thomas Sowell

Jay Leno: Congress has sent a bill to the president that will set up a national database of convicted sex offenders on the internet. Don’t we have this already? It’s called MySpace. … [Thursday] marked the 53rd anniversary of Fidel Castro’s revolution in Cuba. Anybody know what Cuba’s main export is? Cubans.