Quote-a-palooza

“The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind.” – Thomas Paine

“One of the things that bothers me about the immigration bill is the view held in the White House and Congress that ‘something’ must be done; the option of doing nothing is not an option. It is my experience that when this idea takes hold, it is almost inevitable that something bad will result.” – Bruce Bartlett

“Listening to the recent debates among the candidates, monitoring their Websites and reading the poll numbers, one gets the impression that the Republican and Democratic primary electorates are living in two different nations- or the same nation that faces two very different threats. The Republicans want to protect us against Islamist terrorists. The Democrats want to protect us against climate change.” – Michael Barone

“Freedom is not the absence of laws… Freedom requires the rule of law.” – Alisa Craddock

“On Fox News the other night, I was told by NPR’s Juan Williams, ‘You’re anti-immigrant!’ Er, actually, I am an immigrant- one of the members of the very, very teensy-weensy barely statistically detectable category of ‘legal immigrant.’ But perhaps that doesn’t count any more. Perhaps, like Colin Powell’s blackness, it’s insufficiently ‘authentic’.” – Mark Steyn

“If you think more money will fix the schools, make your checks out to ‘cash’ and send them to me.” – Jonah Goldberg

“There’s a new rumor that Senator Hillary Clinton recently had some plastic surgery done. Friends of Hillary deny the rumor and say, ‘Believe it or not, that’s her natural forced smile’.” – Conan O’Brien

Jay Leno: The government now says it now takes about 12 weeks for an American to get a passport now. A three-month waiting list if you want to get out of the country. But of course to get into the country there’s no wait at all; you just walk across. … A cyclone packing huge winds of up to 200 mph has hit the Persian Gulf oil fields. Iranian officials announced today they are still trying to figure out how to blame this on the Jews. … Leaders from the eight wealthiest countries in the world gathered in Germany for what they call the G8 Summit. The G8 was created in 1975 to give Europeans who aren’t into soccer something to riot about. … Here’s an odd fact, according to the AARP, brushing your teeth causes up to 4,000 injuries a year. To which the British said, “See!”

Quote-a-palooza

“The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind.” – Thomas Paine

“One of the things that bothers me about the immigration bill is the view held in the White House and Congress that ‘something’ must be done; the option of doing nothing is not an option. It is my experience that when this idea takes hold, it is almost inevitable that something bad will result.” – Bruce Bartlett

“Listening to the recent debates among the candidates, monitoring their Websites and reading the poll numbers, one gets the impression that the Republican and Democratic primary electorates are living in two different nations- or the same nation that faces two very different threats. The Republicans want to protect us against Islamist terrorists. The Democrats want to protect us against climate change.” – Michael Barone

“Freedom is not the absence of laws… Freedom requires the rule of law.” – Alisa Craddock

“On Fox News the other night, I was told by NPR’s Juan Williams, ‘You’re anti-immigrant!’ Er, actually, I am an immigrant- one of the members of the very, very teensy-weensy barely statistically detectable category of ‘legal immigrant.’ But perhaps that doesn’t count any more. Perhaps, like Colin Powell’s blackness, it’s insufficiently ‘authentic’.” – Mark Steyn

“If you think more money will fix the schools, make your checks out to ‘cash’ and send them to me.” – Jonah Goldberg

“There’s a new rumor that Senator Hillary Clinton recently had some plastic surgery done. Friends of Hillary deny the rumor and say, ‘Believe it or not, that’s her natural forced smile’.” – Conan O’Brien

Jay Leno: The government now says it now takes about 12 weeks for an American to get a passport now. A three-month waiting list if you want to get out of the country. But of course to get into the country there’s no wait at all; you just walk across. … A cyclone packing huge winds of up to 200 mph has hit the Persian Gulf oil fields. Iranian officials announced today they are still trying to figure out how to blame this on the Jews. … Leaders from the eight wealthiest countries in the world gathered in Germany for what they call the G8 Summit. The G8 was created in 1975 to give Europeans who aren’t into soccer something to riot about. … Here’s an odd fact, according to the AARP, brushing your teeth causes up to 4,000 injuries a year. To which the British said, “See!”

Quote-a-palooza

“The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind.” – Thomas Paine

“One of the things that bothers me about the immigration bill is the view held in the White House and Congress that ‘something’ must be done; the option of doing nothing is not an option. It is my experience that when this idea takes hold, it is almost inevitable that something bad will result.” – Bruce Bartlett

“Listening to the recent debates among the candidates, monitoring their Websites and reading the poll numbers, one gets the impression that the Republican and Democratic primary electorates are living in two different nations- or the same nation that faces two very different threats. The Republicans want to protect us against Islamist terrorists. The Democrats want to protect us against climate change.” – Michael Barone

“Freedom is not the absence of laws… Freedom requires the rule of law.” – Alisa Craddock

“On Fox News the other night, I was told by NPR’s Juan Williams, ‘You’re anti-immigrant!’ Er, actually, I am an immigrant- one of the members of the very, very teensy-weensy barely statistically detectable category of ‘legal immigrant.’ But perhaps that doesn’t count any more. Perhaps, like Colin Powell’s blackness, it’s insufficiently ‘authentic’.” – Mark Steyn

“If you think more money will fix the schools, make your checks out to ‘cash’ and send them to me.” – Jonah Goldberg

“There’s a new rumor that Senator Hillary Clinton recently had some plastic surgery done. Friends of Hillary deny the rumor and say, ‘Believe it or not, that’s her natural forced smile’.” – Conan O’Brien

Jay Leno: The government now says it now takes about 12 weeks for an American to get a passport now. A three-month waiting list if you want to get out of the country. But of course to get into the country there’s no wait at all; you just walk across. … A cyclone packing huge winds of up to 200 mph has hit the Persian Gulf oil fields. Iranian officials announced today they are still trying to figure out how to blame this on the Jews. … Leaders from the eight wealthiest countries in the world gathered in Germany for what they call the G8 Summit. The G8 was created in 1975 to give Europeans who aren’t into soccer something to riot about. … Here’s an odd fact, according to the AARP, brushing your teeth causes up to 4,000 injuries a year. To which the British said, “See!”

Quote-a-palooza

“The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind.” – Thomas Paine

“One of the things that bothers me about the immigration bill is the view held in the White House and Congress that ‘something’ must be done; the option of doing nothing is not an option. It is my experience that when this idea takes hold, it is almost inevitable that something bad will result.” – Bruce Bartlett

“Listening to the recent debates among the candidates, monitoring their Websites and reading the poll numbers, one gets the impression that the Republican and Democratic primary electorates are living in two different nations- or the same nation that faces two very different threats. The Republicans want to protect us against Islamist terrorists. The Democrats want to protect us against climate change.” – Michael Barone

“Freedom is not the absence of laws… Freedom requires the rule of law.” – Alisa Craddock

“On Fox News the other night, I was told by NPR’s Juan Williams, ‘You’re anti-immigrant!’ Er, actually, I am an immigrant- one of the members of the very, very teensy-weensy barely statistically detectable category of ‘legal immigrant.’ But perhaps that doesn’t count any more. Perhaps, like Colin Powell’s blackness, it’s insufficiently ‘authentic’.” – Mark Steyn

“If you think more money will fix the schools, make your checks out to ‘cash’ and send them to me.” – Jonah Goldberg

“There’s a new rumor that Senator Hillary Clinton recently had some plastic surgery done. Friends of Hillary deny the rumor and say, ‘Believe it or not, that’s her natural forced smile’.” – Conan O’Brien

Jay Leno: The government now says it now takes about 12 weeks for an American to get a passport now. A three-month waiting list if you want to get out of the country. But of course to get into the country there’s no wait at all; you just walk across. … A cyclone packing huge winds of up to 200 mph has hit the Persian Gulf oil fields. Iranian officials announced today they are still trying to figure out how to blame this on the Jews. … Leaders from the eight wealthiest countries in the world gathered in Germany for what they call the G8 Summit. The G8 was created in 1975 to give Europeans who aren’t into soccer something to riot about. … Here’s an odd fact, according to the AARP, brushing your teeth causes up to 4,000 injuries a year. To which the British said, “See!”

Steroids Scandal Hits Justice League of America

Steroids Scandal Hits Major League Superheroes

The Justice League of America responded today to the accusations of doping leveled by former member The Atom’s new tell-all book, Small-Time Justice. In it, the diminutive crime fighter accuses his fellow superheroes of various indiscretions and infidelities, but the most controversial chapter in the book deals with steroid abuse. While he stops short of naming names, the context makes it clear to which leaguer he’s referring.

“Now ask yourself,” he writes. “How does a guy with absolutely no superhuman abilities get to hang out with the most powerful beings in the solar system? When you’re busy learning science and picking up detective skills and custom-building cars and special devices, how are you going to find the time to hit the gym as hard as you need to even sit at the same table with Superman and Wonder Woman? Isn’t it possible that maybe you’re going to look for a little outside help, maybe of a chemical nature?”

Make sure to read the whole thing. High-larious.