Man Law: No Talking in Public Bathrooms

I would think it was an already accepted Man Law that there should be no talking in public men’s rooms. (There can be an exception for a father with a young child with him, or when friends are alone.) I just started a new assignment and apparently men at this location don’t know the rules.

My girlfriend will mock me because I sometimes absentmindedly start singing while washing my hands in her bathroom. This is weird enough, but just now at work, while I was using the facilities, another guy came in, singing quite loud. Sees me, asks how I was doing, and continues singing. He then turns on the faucet on one of the sinks, walks over to the urinal next to me (there are only two urinals in this bathroom), flushes it, unzips, puts his hands behind his back, and starts a conversation about the weather. (I can’t escape because I’m in midstream.) I try to answer him curtly, but he keeps going with the conversation, flushing the urinal every few seconds. I finish as quickly as I can, and go to wash my hands. I notice that he’s placed a cup under the running faucet which is now overflowing into the sink. I get out and shudder at the experience.

So, when I’m absolute dictator, talking to strangers in a men’s room, in non-emergency cases, will punished by application of duct tape to the mouth on future bathroom visits.

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