“Excessive taxation will carry reason and reflection to every man’s door, and particularly in the hour of election.” – Thomas Jefferson

“It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.” – Voltaire

“I am easily satisfied with the very best.” – Winston Churchill

“There should be a tax on every man that wanted to get a government appointment, or be elected to office. In two years that tax alone would pay our national debt.” – Will Rogers

“Many elected to office are agenda and ideologically driven, simply engaged in the pursuit of power. To these people, the truth is a ‘good thing’ when it aids their cause and something to be spun or ignored when it stands to detract from their agendas.” – Frank Salvato

“Republicans have 4 1/2 good presidential candidates. All five would make fine Cabinet members: Romney at Treasury, Thompson at Justice, McCain at Defense, Giuliani at Homeland Security, Huckabee at Interior. All the team needs now is to pick a captain who can beat Hillary.” – Charles Krauthammer

“Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich says that he once had an encounter with a UFO. Apparently, several weird looking, little men got off the ship, saw Kucinich, and said, ‘It’s alright. He’s one of us’.” – Conan O’Brien

“You might think nobody could make politics of a tragic fire, but if you think that you would be wrong. Not only is the personal political, so is the fiery impersonal…It’s not quite clear how fire can be credibly blamed on George W. Bush, but some people are working on it.” – Wesley Pruden

“Comedians all support Hillary. The idea of Bill Clinton being in the White House for eight years with nothing to do in the afternoon is the closest thing there is to the chemical formula for comedy.” – Argus Hamilton

Jay Leno: Lot of candidates getting into the Halloween spirit. Today, John Edwards said he was going to get a $15 haircut and go as someone from the other America. … Even FEMA employees are celebrating Halloween. They’re all getting dressed up as reporters this year. … FEMA is handling another disaster- its own Public Relations department. This is unbelievable to me! FEMA has apologized for staging a fake news conference on the California wildfires. They had a fake news conference in which FEMA employees pretended to be reporters and asked softball questions to their idiot boss. It was obvious the reporters were FEMA workers because the questions were about the 2003 fire. … New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has announced that New York will give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. So, for the first time ever, a lot of New York City cab drivers will actually have a license. … Democrats in Congress have announced they will now be taking Fridays off. Apparently, they were getting worried their approval rating was too high.