This might take the prize for most obscure humor reference ever…

And I feel sad for getting it:

Nerd Has Most Obscure Crush Ever

JACKSONVILLE, FL—The unrequited nature of area nerd June Manzo’s crush on actor Peter Tuddenham, who provides the voice of piloting computer Slave on Blake’s 7, is only slightly more agonizing than the process of explanation she must put herself through every time her media obsession is discussed. “He has this slightly sinister but dynamic way of speaking on the show, particularly in the ‘Headhunter’ episode,” Manzo said, painstakingly describing Tuddenham to fellow science-fiction fan Bradley Preakniss. “When I hear his voice congratulating Avon on his ‘consummate skill,’ I just get shivers… Doesn’t that ring a bell? No? Not at all?” Manzo’s crush is surpassed in geekiness and obscurity only by that of Denver’s Demitri Ostrow, who has a long-harbored passion for author Neil Gaiman’s “fabulous” assistant Lorraine.

From The Onion, of course.

“I will not allow America to become New Jersey.”

That’s a good idea in so many ways, but this specifically refers to not allowing government to grow wildly as has happened in the so-called Garden State:

Think of it as our gift to the nation. Other states offer promising experiments in areas such as Medicaid, taxes, education and regulatory reform. In contrast, the People’s Republic of New Jersey offers America something truly unique: the perfect bad example.

As harmful as this has been for our own prosperity, our example could be invaluable for President-elect Obama. That’s especially true given that his team appears to be considering some of the same things that have long been popular in Trenton. For years, the solons in our state capital have operated on the assumption that you can have high taxes everywhere — on income, on property, on business — without suffering any consequences.

Thomas Sowell’s Random Thoughts

People who are impressed by how many of Barack Obama’s advisors have Ivy League degrees seem not to remember how many people with Ivy League degrees mismanaged the Vietnam war and how many people with Ivy League degrees mismanaged economic policy during the Great Depression of the 1930s.

The fact that sales at Starbucks are going down, while sales at McDonald’s are going up, shows that people are adjusting to economic adversity by cutting back their spending. Only in Congress do people adjust to economic adversity and growing deficits by spending more money.

Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke seems to be pretty popular thus far. My own preference is for Federal Reserve chairmen who are unpopular. When Paul Volcker was chairman of the Fed back in the 1980s, he was hated like poison, but his policies finally broke the back of the inflation that had been out of control for years– not without some painful costs, but few benefits can be gotten without costs.

It is fascinating to see that politicians whose interventions in mortgage lending have created a disaster in financial institutions are now moving on to intervene in the automobile industry.

Wal-Mart has done more for poor people than any ten liberals, at least nine of whom are almost guaranteed to hate Wal-Mart.

Ronald Reagan had a vision of America. Barack Obama has a vision of Barack Obama.

One of the signs of how easily we are bullied by small and vocal groups is how many universities, among other institutions, dare not even refer to the Christmas vacation but instead refer to “the winter holiday.”

As American incomes have risen over the years, liberals have kept changing the definition of “poverty.” Otherwise, the dwindling numbers of people who could be called “poor” would take away the liberals’ main claim to influence and power.

An e-mail from a reader whose job requires him to take urine tests, to make sure he is drug-free, wonders why he is taxed to provide money to people on welfare who are also on drugs. He thinks they should have to take urine tests too, before they get his money.

Recent covers on Time magazine and Newsweek– as well as the stories inside– suggest that these magazines are as giddy as teenagers are over some rock stars, when it comes to Barack Obama.

Always worth reading. (Read the Whole article)

Do not Go Into DC for the Inauguration

1 toilet for every 6,849 people on Inauguration Day

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

But will there be enough places to “go” on Inauguration Day?

Crowd estimates for Jan. 20 range between 1 and 5 million people.

Metro is planning to carry upwards of 1 million riders itself on Inauguration Day, but the transit agency says it will shut down all of its public restrooms due to security concerns.

Instead, 146 portable restrooms will be set up outside of selected rail stations.

Even if the transit agency carries 1 million people on Jan. 20 — and that could be a conservative estimate — that means there would be one bathroom for every 6,849 customers.

Blagojevich Selling Obama’s Senate Seat?

From the criminal complaint against Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (source):

By law, after the President-elect’s resignation of his position as a U.S. Senator, which was effective on November 16, 2008, ROD BLAGOJEVICH has sole authority to appoint his replacement for the two years remaining of the President-elect’s Senate term. During the course of this investigation, agents have intercepted a series of communications regarding the efforts of ROD BLAGOJEVICH, JOHN HARRIS, and others to misuse this power to obtain personal gain, including financial gain, for ROD BLAGOJEVICH and his family. In particular, ROD BLAGOJEVICH has been intercepted conspiring to trade the senate seat for particular positions that the President-elect has the power to appoint (e.g. the Secretary of Health and Human Services). ROD BLAGOJEVICH has also been intercepted conspiring to sell the Senate seat in exchange for his wife’s placement on paid corporate boards or ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s placement at a private foundation in a significant position with a substantial salary. ROD BLAGOJEVICH has also been intercepted conspiring to sell the Senate seat in exchange for millions of dollars in funding for a non-profit organization that he would start and that would employ him at a substantial salary after he left the governorship.

Emphasis added.

If this is accurate, wouldn’t the bolded part implicate Obama in this conspiracy as well, or am I misunderstanding something? After all, only the President has the authority to nominate Cabinet officers. Am I missing something?

UPDATE (10:22 AM):

The AP seems to confirm that the Governor (no way am I trying to type that last name) did indeed attempt to use Obama’s seat for personal gain:

A 76-page FBI affidavit said the 51-year-old Democratic governor was intercepted on court-authorized wiretaps over the last month conspiring to sell or trade the vacant Senate seat for personal benefits for himself and his wife, Patti.

The affidavit said Blagojevich discussed getting a substantial salary for himself at a nonprofit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions.

It said that Blagojevich also talked about getting his wife placed on corporate boards where she might get $150,000 a year in director’s fees.

He also allegedly discussed getting campaign funds for himself or possibly a post in the president’s cabinet or an ambassadorship once he left the governor’s office.

U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald said in a statement that “the breadth of corruption laid out in these charges is staggering.”

“They allege that Blagojevich put a for sale sign on the naming of a United States senator,” Fitzgerald said.

Wow.